Monday, December 31, 2012

2012: In Memoriam

This is my year in review. I was inspired by my best friend to write this post!

I titled it “in memoriam” because starting tomorrow, theyear will be gone and we will be left with only memories of it.  And also because I love the Tennyson poem ofthe same name.
And a little bit because I want 2012 to die. And you say “in memoriam” in regards to dead things.

2012 has not been easy.
Not that any year ever is.  Nobody goes“gee whiz! 2009 was a breeze!” or “I really miss 1993, that year was a cinch.”[Note: I do miss 1993, that year wasa cinch--being a precocious 5 year old in kindergarten, discovering theabsolute magic of letters, and that those letters made entire WORDS! and eatingfar too much candy…those were the days!!! And in 2009 I was in college, without the woes and worries of a “real adult”, having gin parties on Wednesday nights and going shopping for a breakfrom studying…yes, that year was pretty glorious as well].

But life has not been easy since I decided to do what Ithought would be an improvement in my health, an easing up of pain, and actionto prevent future problems…and got the metal implants put in my jaw.
Since then, things have gotten progressively worse.
That was about 2 years ago.
2011 was better because it had extreme highs as well as lows; getting engaged,graduating college, moving in with Eli, getting my first job, getting married,having a killer honeymoon…
But 2012 was like a sucker punch.  In 6parts.


Getting a job I love.  Which is where I am currently working.
Going to Texas for the first time, and visiting Dealey Plaza, which has been onmy bucket list for years.
Enjoying my first year of marriage!!!!!!!!!!
Making some incredible new friends.
Doing a mud run!
Having my best friend come from her home in England and live with us for 2weeks.  It wasn’t near enough time, butwe packed as much fun into it as possible and made some incredible memories!
Spending quality time with my nephews and nieces (and hopefully teaching them athing or two!)
Trying escargot
Welcomed a new nephew into the world.
Went golfing for the first time.
Going lingerie shopping with my former boss and professor.  Hysterical.
I figured out that I love sushi andtried to compensate for years of not eating it.
I beat the boys at bowling.
I cheered my heart out for the Utes and the Cowboys, and went to my first NFLgame (DALLAS!).
I became a zombie.

Successfully doing self-therapy for my PTSD.
An epic Vegas trip.


Putting my dog, my longest-running best friend, to sleep.  That was in January and I’m still not overit.
Losing Rolfe, my Great-Uncle (or something) in Norway.  I stayed with he and his wife for a bit afterhigh school in Oslo and he was a character! Even in his 80s he skied the lengthof Norway (yes, the entire country!), and would wake me in the morning byplaying military songs on his bugle.  Imiss him.
Having to break up with a good friend. She was a mooch, a liar, and was dragging me down and refusing to let mebolster her up.  She enjoyed drama andpity, and did anything to get it.  It isalways hard to sever ties, even when (like with her) it is a long time comingand you know is for the best.
Having a blogged salivary gland over the holidays, and going to the hospitalfor it on Christmas Eve.  I know lookingback at the pictures years from now, with my fat, swollen face will befunny.  But it sucked.
Getting my pretty new blue car keyed by a psychotic bitch (right on thedriver’s door!).
Having to say goodbye to Torie when she left.
Cutting down my 2nd favorite tree, that I grew up under.
I saw Rudolph. I know this isn’t aseriously awful thing that happened, but…YUCK. It definitely wasn’t a good one! I’m talking about the old Claymationshow.  My parents couldn’t get me to watchit as a kid—I would run screaming out of the room, and Eli finally forced me towatch it after my surgery (I had no choice, I was couch-ridden).  Maybe it was the Percocet, but I was nothappy.  The only part I liked was themonster.
Having a staph infection for 10 months of the year.
Cutting off part of my finger on accident.
Painful ailments and constant doctor’s appointments that provided no answers orhelp, just more frustration.
Spending way too much time at the dentist.
Epic and serious family problems.
Having (and quitting) 2 God-awful jobs with horrible, sexist, abusive men as bosses.

(Whenever I talk about “my implants” in front of people who don’t know thestory, or who are overhearing my conversation, they look at my boobs.  Which may be a bit big, but they’re REAL!)

Getting the implants REMOVEDand feeling so much better, so quickly.
       This decision was difficult.  It was wrenching—physically andemotionally.  Should I believe whatthe doctors told me, that I was adepressed hypochondriac with nothing actually wrong with me and no allergy to my implants, or go withmy gut instinct and the tally of compounding symptoms, only
       getting worse, and have riskysurgery to cut the implants out of the bone?
       I was absolutely terrified of myjaw being broken—the main risk of the surgery. I listened to my 
       body, prayed about it, and knew Ihad to get the implants out.  And Iabsolutely did the right  
  My symptoms began clearing themoment I came out of surgery.

My New Year’s Eve last year was rung in on the Las Vegasstrip in the freezing cold.  They shotfireworks off at multiple casinos down the length of the strip and it wasincredible, and a fun thing to have done.
But I am looking forward to a more intimate celebration tonight, with some ofmy best buds crammed into a warm apartment (baby, it’s coooooold outside) with a hyper dog, cream cheese wontons,Nintendo, and plenty of hot drinks.

Oftentimes, “going big” is overrated.
New Year’s is definitely one of those times.
I’d be happy in a closet with my husband and a bottle of bolly, so long as theyear we’re ringing in the new year right, and better than the one we’re leavingbehind in the snowy darkness.

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