Friday, March 30, 2012

TGIF baby. dance party.

Get ready kiddos.
This awesomeness may melt your face off.


And now...the epic conclusion of this dance off...

See you again next week!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Mad [wo]Men

So I'm trying to get into Mad Men, that hot TV show that it seems like most of the country is obsessing over. It sounds like a "me" show, especially the context of it, but for some reason it has taken me this long to even begin my foray into Mad Men.

I've watched Breaking Bad and loved it, up until the 3rd season. Eli got me into that after months of me going "I am not interested in a movie about people cooking meth!!" I was hooked 5 minutes in.

 I've been watching Walking Dead (also bad ass), but it and BB lack the historical nuance that I am looking for, that hopefully Mad Men can satisfy.
I adore I Love Lucy and still watch it religiously. Obviously it is irreplaceable, but it seems that the family sitcom today is so far off this classic base that they fall flat. This is usually because they have too much dirty humor (not attractive coming from these women) or weak jokes, bad plots, etc. Lucy didn't need it. So I stay away from that crap. The only somewhat current sitcoms you'll catch me watching are Seinfeld and How I Met Your Mother.

I am rambling. I collapsed on the couch after work the other night, bourbon on the rocks in hand, and flipped on Mad Men. I love the opening intro/credits. Slow beginning, super sluggish character development, and the dialogue is okay. Lots of historical stereotypes, but whatever.
The best part of the show is....
The fashions and costume design is absolutely fantastic and makes me almost wish I were that shellacked and unhappy-but-groomed 1960s housewife, conflicted because I can't vacuum when I have a cigarette in one hand and a martini in the other.
God, the women in this show! They ARE the show! It should be Mad Women for Christ's sake because that is totally what it is about, though some people may have overlooked this factor, especially because it pretends to rotate around the main dude. Who, so far, is pretty static and annoys me.
But...I've already watched 3 episodes and don't even know what is going on because I am entranced by their clothes. I just faze out and stare, like it is one epic catalog.

I am inspired. As is, apparently, the rest of the female sex.

Now if only I could listen and understand what the devil is happening....

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

the Cold War is O-V-E-R !

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney called Russia "without question our number one geopolitical foe" Monday on CNN.
"I'm saying in terms of a geopolitical opponent, the nation which lines up with the world's worst actors," said Romney.

Really? Russia? Not Iran or Korea..?
I think Romney missed this
 and this

Medvedev responded with advice  "to check their clocks from time to time...It is 2012, not the mid-1970s. No matter what party a candidate represents, he has to take the current state of affairs into account.”

No more of this please...
Fear-mongering is the lowest way to win an election. Lets address some real issues/fears.

The Red Scare has been done already.

Monday, March 26, 2012

people eat this shit up?

Just now--sorting through my boss's inbox.
and he received this.

people spend time on this crap?
this is just me marvelling at the exaggeration and desperation politics has come to (on both sides!)

yes there are some valid points here, but a whole lot of bullshit that invalidates the majority of it.

 O WHEN...

WHEN - he refused to disclose who donated money to his election campaign, as other candidates had done, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he received endorsements from people like Louis Farrakhan, Muammar Gaddafi, and Hugo Chavez, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - it was pointed out that he was a total newcomer and had absolutely no experience at anything except community organizing, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he chose friends and acquaintances such as Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn who were revolutionary radicals, people said it didn't matter. People are still on the Ayers thing?? All of us are "acquainted" with wackos, it shouldn't tarnish our reputations if we sat next to someone on a bus that happens to be mental.

WHEN - his voting record in the Illinois Senate and in the U.S. Senate came into question, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he refused to wear a flag lapel pin and did so only after a public outcry, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - people started treating him as a Messiah and children in schools were taught to sing his praises, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he stood with his hands over his groin area for the playing of the National Anthem and Pledge of Allegiance, people said it didn't matter.  SERIOUSLY?! Lots of people stand like that, it doesn't mean they are fondling themselves.

WHEN - he surrounded himself in the White House with advisors who were pro-gun control, pro-abortion, pro-homosexual marriage and wanting to curtail freedom of speech to silence the opposition, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he said he favors sex education in kindergarten, including homosexual indoctrination, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - his personal background was either scrubbed or hidden and nothing could be found about him, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - the place of his birth was called into question, and he refused to produce a birth certificate, people said it didn't matter.  Wow....

WHEN - he had an association in Chicago with Tony Rezco - a man of questionable character and who is now in prison and had helped Obama to a sweet deal on the purchase of his home - people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - it became known that George Soros, a multi-billionaire Marxist, spent a ton of money to get him elected, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he started appointing White House Czars that were radicals, revolutionaries, and even avowed Marxist/Communists, people said it didn't matter.  Love this one--White House Czars!! Oh God the Bolsheviks are invading the presidency!

WHEN - he stood before the Nation and told us that his intentions were to "fundamentally transform this Nation" into something else, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - it became known that he had trained ACORN workers in Chicago and served as an attorney for ACORN, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he appointed cabinet members and several advisors who were tax cheats and socialists, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he appointed a Science Czar, John Holdren, who believes in forced abortions, mass sterilizations and seizing babies from teen mothers, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he appointed Cass Sunstein as Regulatory Czar who believes in "Explicit Consent", harvesting human organs without family consent and allowing animals to be represented in court, while banning all hunting, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he appointed Kevin Jennings, a homosexual and organizer of a group called Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network as Safe School Czar and it became known that he had a history of bad advice to teenagers, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he appointed Mark Lloyd as Diversity Czar who believes in curtailing free speech, taking from one and giving to another to spread the wealth, who supports Hugo Chavez, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - Valerie Jarrett, an avowed Socialist, was selected as Obama's Senior White House Advisor, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - Anita Dunn, White House Communications Director, said Mao Tse Tung was her favorite philosopher and the person she turned to most for inspiration, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he appointed Carol Browner, a well known socialist as Global Warming Czar working on Cap and Trade as the nation's largest tax, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he appointed Van Jones, an ex-con and avowed Communist as Green Energy Czar, who since had to resign when this was made known, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - Tom Daschle, Obama's pick for Health and Human Services Secretary could not be confirmed because he was a tax cheat, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - as President of the United States, he bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, people said it didn't matter. Expressing respect according to foreign standards is a necessity in foreign policy.

WHEN - he traveled around the world criticizing America and never once talking of her greatness, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - his actions concerning the Middle East seemed to support the Palestinians over Israel, our long time ally, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he took American tax dollars to resettle thousands of Palestinians from Gaza to the United States, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he upset the Europeans by removing plans for a missile defense system against the Russians, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he played politics in Afghanistan by not sending troops early-on when the Field Commanders said they were necessary to win, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he started spending us into a debt that was so big we could not pay it off, people said it didn't matter. Because we weren't in debt before. America was never in debt, right?

WHEN - he took a huge spending bill under the guise of stimulus and used it to pay off organizations, unions, and individuals that got him elected, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he took over insurance companies, car companies, banks, etc., people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he took away student loans from the banks and put it through the government, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he designed plans to take over the health care system and put it under government control, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he claimed he was a Christian during the election and tapes were later made public that showed Obama speaking to a Muslim group and 'stating' that he was raised a Muslim, was educated as a Muslim, and is still a Muslim, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he set into motion a plan to take over the control of all energy in the United States through Cap and Trade, people said it didn't matter.

WHEN - he finally completed his transformation of America into a Socialist State, people woke up--- but it was too late.
SHIT! We're all gonna die.

Add these up one by one and you get a phenomenal score that points to the fact that Barrack Hussein Obama is determined to turn America into a Marxist-Socialist society. They had to bring up the Hussein...

All of the items in the preceding paragraphs have been put into place.  All can be documented very easily.  Before you disavow this do an Internet search.  The last paragraph alone is not yet cast in stone.  You and I will write that paragraph.

Will it read as above or will it be a more happy ending for most of America?

Don't just belittle the opposition.  Search for the truth.  We all need to pull together or watch the demise of a free democratic society.  Pray for Americans to seek the truth and take action for it will keep us FREE.  Our biggest enemy is not China, Russia, North Korea or Iran.  Our biggest enemy is a contingent of politicians in Washington, DC.  The government will not help, so we need to do it ourselves.

Question....will you delete this, or pass it on to others who don't know about Obama's actions and plans for the USA, so that they may know how to vote in November, 2012 and the ensuing years?

It's your decision.  I believe IT DOES MATTER.


On a similar note, have you seen Santorum's most recent horror-style ad?
There are no words.....

But at least....Vicky sent me this great one:

Friday, March 23, 2012

New Titanic Photos!!!

Just in time for the 100th Annivesrary of the sinking....

The Woods Hold Oceanographic Institution has completed a mapping of the entire wreck site, by stitching together a bunch of smaller images.

Archeologist James Delgado put it eloquently:

"In the past, trying to understand Titanic was like trying to understand Manhattan at midnight in a rainstorm—with a flashlight. Now we have a site that can be understood and measured, with definite things to tell us. In years to come this historic map may give voice to those people who were silenced, seemingly forever, when the cold water closed over them.”

The images are haunting--seeing the entire ship in reality, and not just computer generated drawings.

There will be an entire article on the project, and the sinking in general, in April's National Geographic.
I can't wait !!


Thursday, March 22, 2012

Tired and Not Tired.


People calling Obama a socialist and obsessing over socialism in general.Democratic Socialism and Socialist Socialism are very different (the former kind being the most common form of government in the world). Socialism is not communism (I think many Americans live in rabid fear of anything ending in -ISM) and was founded on the notion that employees should have ownership of the businesses they work for, which is definitely not a bad thing.
I'm not defending or justifying socialism here, I am merely stating that this is nothing new. Yes, Obama wants to take things to a new level, but please do some research and don't insult something you don't understand. Once you've got a grasp on it, criticize away!

Conning people out of their money is a nasty thing to do, and it has become terrifyingly prevalent in our world, and in the most unexpected of ways.
For example, our new family dentist has been lying to my family and telling us we need fillings that we don't, even to the point of damaging our teeth so that those fillings are needed.  Insane, right?
He even worked on one of my molars that didn’t need it (twice) and I ended up having a root canal on that tooth (I went to someone else for the root canal, obviously). We have given the guy upwards of $5000 (with insurance covering a lot of it). A dental con. Sneaky and brilliant, but in the most disappointing way.
If we can’t trust our doctors, and they are putting us through unnecessary pain, what are we to do? It isn't as though I can go to a naturopath for dental work.

Half Assed "Friendships."And the people that contact you only when they need/want something.

Dysfunctional Printers.

No bueno, on a time crunch, at work.
And inky fingers is not a good look for me.

People that will do horrible things to others--even fire them--to cover their own butts. Because they were being dishonest in the first place. As The Twain put it, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

and the unending pain they cause.


Romantic Adventures with Husband.More on that later. But we've been together for 8 years and are still in "the honeymoon stage."
             and it is the most delicious thing.

Their little personalities and quirks never cease to make me smile. They love landing in my food, pooping on my head, and sitting on my phone whilst I am in the middle of FaceTiming with Torie. They greet me when I come home from work, sing along with me, and enjoy watching me fold laundry. Who could ask for more?

Jalapeno PoppersI made a huge batch of them on Sunday and just knowing I have them ready in the freezer, to toss in the oven, makes me tap my feet a little bit...

Racing the Sun
Driving up I-80 to work in the mornings, the sun is always about to crest over the top of the mountain. It is a beautiful and fills the valley with this diffused light, and you can see all of the particles twisting in the golden light.
I try to get to Foothill before the sun makes it over the top because then my drive is a lot more tricky (sunglasses on, visor down, squinting to make sure I don't crash into anyone as we drive right into the brightness). So it is a daily race.

The Variety of Swears my Boss Invents.
Creativity at its best!

The Unexpected.Champagne on Wednesdays, 70 degree weather in March, random compliments, smiles with strangers, trials and joys that spice everything up.

and these..

Monday, March 19, 2012

No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition.

So my streak of bad luck
has continued.

Maybe a sage cleansing is in order...?

On Thursday I was eating and had severe pain in my mouth
that lasted into Friday.
And on Friday part of my molar fell out.
And I bled and bled and bled.

I got an emergency appointment with the dentist
and he "fixed" it. Yet the pain continued.
I couldn't even eat breakfast this morning.
And yogurt is NOT real lunch.
So tomorrow I am going to a specialist for...

ANOTHER ROOT CANAL! Wooooooh. I win.

On Saturday we visited Eli's sweet sick Grandma
who is in the hospital for a dangerous case of bronchitis.
We are all very worried about her.
After wandering around St. Mark's forever trying to find her room,
she was asleep. And we couldn't wake her,
so we left a note and a shamrock necklace.
We had some pretty unsatisfactory pizza
that made both Eli and I sick the next day.
But we felt ok Saturday night and went to a friend's for a St. Paddy's Party.
In matching shirts. Hell yes.

We were having a grand ol' time doing Irish car bombs when some strange guy showed up
with some friends
and proceeded to whack my injured finger (remember the gaping hole I have in it?)
with a plastic sword.
I told him, in not kind words, to STOP IT BECAUSE IT F##### HURTS.
He said "oh really?" and whacked it again.

If he had not have left shortly thereafter he would have found himself
with a wound similar to mine,
though not on his finger.

That night, my friend was telling me about a woman
who lives in her same complex that is a nutter that is also on drugs.
And she is fixated on one parking spot in the entire small lot (8 spots)
that she is convinced is hers (it isn't).
Because it is an enormous difficulty for her to walk an extra 5 feet.
She is in her 30s and is not disabled in any way (except for the drugs).
And when my friend parked in "her" spot, after leaving her bitchy notes,
this crazy creature keyed the crap out of her car--all down the length of it
on the driver's side.

We were all righteously indignant
but friend didn't mention that my car
happened to be parked in that spot.
And when we came to pick it up the next morning...

This picture doesn't do justice to just how deep the scratch is.
Mature, crazy bitch, real mature.
So we called the cops and she wouldn't answer her door,
so we are going to file a civil suit against her.

The only true wonderful thing that happened to me this week
(besides drinking Macallan whisky, playing some badass old arcade games, and gorging myself on BBQ chips with Eli while watching Dog the Bounty Hunter reruns)

Their names are Sohpie and Walter.
and they are lushes.

Just kidding.
They are in love and incredibly beautiful, intelligent, and sweet.
They literally have to be next to each other at all times, even while perched on our fingers, flying, eating, the works.

Eli has them hooked on 80s power ballads. They are wrecked.
They don't like The Beatles and all Bob Dylan appreciation
has been wiped out by Pat Benetar.
Their current favorite song is "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO and
boy do they sing along when it comes on!

We are getting along very quickly as far as training them.
They already step out of the cage onto our fingers,
know how to "ladder" up our fingers,
eat out of our hands,
and they are trying their darndest to mimic us.
We are the happiest little mixed family of four.
And somehow that makes everything else better.
Even the root canal sounds a little less torturous when I know I'm coming home to
sweet chirping and Eli encouraging me to gorge myself on superman ice cream.

Friday, March 16, 2012

About Me: A Lame Quiz

Hogwarts HouseGryffindor/Ravenclaw. I honestly don't know where I would end up! I have so 
 many traits that belong to both of those houses. The fact that Neville ended up in Gryffindor  
 and not Hufflepuff , and Hermione not being a Ravenclaw makes me think I too would be sorted into Gryffindor.... I do love Ravenclaws though.

Power/Talent I Wish I Had 
fluency in all languages (current and ancient).

What I Want This Second
A cupcake with cream cheese frosting and my finger to be healed.

Wearing Right Now
ooh sexy. Not. Coral button down, pencil skirt, nylon thigh-highs, patent black pumps.

Looking Forward ToPlaying with my new budgies!

Right Now I Want to Be (where?)San Francisco with Eli. And Plymouth with Torie.

Annoyancespharmacies, moronic doctors, waiting for my hair to grow out, pain in mouth from root canal (still), the mess that we're making in the Middle East. And cocky, demeaning IT nerds.

Most Recent Random Thingtalking to Jon Huntsman on the phone yesterday! Yes, the Jon Huntsman.

Beveragegin and tonic, extra lime. Heineken.
Non-booze: sweet tea, green jasmine tea, cherry lemonade, lime rickey.

fresh fruit, chocolate covered almonds, brie.

Guilty Pleasure treat
Chippies. Specifically BBQ chippies. If I'm not careful I eat an entire bag in one sitting.

BurgerIn N Out and Training Table's Guacamole Bacon Burger.

Song Stuck in Your Head"We Are Young" by Fun and "Alone" by Heart.
Dog or Cat
Dog. Cats are for sissies. Not that I don't like cats, but there is really no debate here for me, it has gotta be dogs! I'll get a cat when I am old, and a sissy.


DesertBananas foster.

Book for a Rainy DayRevolutionary Road or Great Gatsby.
TV ShowI Love Lucy, Keeping up Appearances, Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother.
Work of Art:Michelangelo's David. I would go to Florence just to see it again. It rendered me speechless.
#2 is the Sistine Chapel. I just love Michelangelo Simoni.
And this gives me an opportunity to bitch about Santorum--he says homosexuals don't give to society. What he doesn't know: Michelangelo was gay. Snap in your face Santorum.

Place to Shop:Barnes and Noble, Tabula Rasa (vintage stationary store), Nordstrom, and farmer's markets.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

have you seen this?

Ben Affleck writing an article (yes, you read that right) called "Westerners Are Not and Will Never Be 'Saviors' of Africa"
An excerpt:
That idea has been tried and found wanting. It is ineffectual at best and deadly at worst. The organization I founded, Eastern Congo Initiative....[blahblahblah]...We support the work being done by highly capable and determined Congolese, to make their communities a better place...Joseph Kony must be caught."

As you can tell, his writing is trite, self-serving, basic and, well, a bit obvious. But whatever. It is Ben Affleck! We should be grateful he can write at all.
I am kind of torn about these celebrity blurbs, these "I'm rich and blissfully ignorant, but once every couple years I go to a fundraiser that moves me so deeply that I visit a third world country and take pictures with devastated villagers and encourage the American public to follow my lead because I'm a big name."  I'm not saying that there isn't good will here and that all celebrities involved in causes are phonies, and organizations that help others (and allocate their funds properly) are wonderful.
I'm just a bit bored with all of the celebrity-founded/endorsed organizations floating around. We need to have one or two comprehensive funds for each cause that make it easier for people to help give and not be bewildered by the options ("Should I donate to World Vision? Or Ben Affleck's charity? Does he even know how to run a charity? Who is running it? Is Heal Africa more organized? What about Doctors Without Borders?").

Sorry, my thoughts on that were much longer than anticipated. Not that I have anything against dear old Ben, he is just a cute run-of-the-mill duffer. I love Good Will Hunting as much as the next person and that was even before his teeth got fixed.
Read his piece here

It is a live feed of penguins in Sea World!!!
There is one in particular that tends to come right up to the camera when I am watching. Call it animal magnetism, but we are internet buddies. And he is always in the same mood as me!
I was watching him this morning and feeling tired and he yawned a beaky penguin yawn and stretched his little wings!
When I am bored I catch him staring up at nothing. When I am energetic he bobs around. He doesn't hang in cliques with the other penguins much. He is a dreamer. I call him Albert.
It makes me want to work at Sea World. Bad. That has always been a dream of mine. Last time I was there a few years ago I even talked to a manager for 30 minutes about it, but to work hands-on with the animals like I want to, you need to have a degree in sociology or something similar. Isn't that interesting??

And on that note, I love watching my otter friends as well at Monterey Aquarium. I visited these guys in person when the baby was a newborn!  And you all know how much I love my otters (if you didn't before, you do now). They make me gleeful.

GIFS are little video clips on repeat. This is a collection of "the best."
My favorites: 11-13 (The Shining!), 26, 29. Don't look at #43. 47 is a bit eerie as well.

Vicky shared this with me---a huge chunk of the famous White Cliffs of Dover collapsed! And the newspaper responded with the brilliant headline: FRANCE IS EVEN FURTHER AWAY.
How unacademic is that?! As if their existence is only as a buffer between France and England.
An aerial view of the latest chalk slip at the White Cliffs of Dover

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Burning Sage

This last weekend was born in hell.
It had its wondrous moments that made the trip worth it, but then there was the fact that I felt like shit the entire time (antibiotics that made me pukey, Lortab that made 3 mile hikes ominous and hazy), and the fact that I cut a decent-sized chunk out of my finger. Then there was the family squabbling and worrying and the unique kind of exhaustion that hours on end in a car will give you.

Some of the wondrous moments (in no particular order):
Driving into Mt. Carmel and seeing all the constellations (no light pollution there!), marvelling at the sour yellow moon, while listening to Fight Club.
Yes, I said listening - Eli has the movie on his phone and we plugged it into the stereo. We've seen it enough times that we don't need to watch it, and it is made well enough that it could practically be a book on tape!

Learning the history behind Mt. Carmel Junction, where we stayed. It involved a tough old broad named Fern that built the town out of nothing. When life gave her lemons (i.e. the government trying to take her water rights away) she made sweet lemonade (building a golf course to get those water rights back)!

Bryce Canyon Natural Bridge
It is really an arch. It is fabulous. It could collapse at any time. Eli wanted to throw a snowball at it and speed up that process, but after much discussion it was concluded that despite his incredible manly strength he wouldn't be able to reach the arch.
Bryce was just incredible in general. Treacherous, but gorgeous.
Me "in" the arch

The drive into Kanab. With a man's strange acre of property that included a pond and canoe, one of those paddle boat things (for leisurely rides around his private little pond), fire pit, a few rusty tractors, a dog, a white horse, a "John Stewart for President" sign, and his house: an ancient wooden monstrosity (it was actually cute) built underneath a rocky ledge. Hmm.... Eli and I called him "pioneer man." We think he is living the dream.

Best Friends. The no-kill animal sanctuary down there. I finally went! It is on 3600 acres and some of it is in a beautiful orange rock canyon. We didn't go on a tour because we didn't have time (and we would have adopted 8 animals) but we drove through Dog Town, talked to the workers, bought a birthday gift for my mom, and talked to a couple of potbelly pigs. They were the happiest pigs I have ever seen! But if I lived in Best Friends I would be pretty damn cheery too. It was delightful. When I have enough extra $$ for charitable purposes, they are #1 on my list.

Picnic in Zions. We ate next to The Pulpit and watched 2 rock climbers hundreds of feet above us on a sheer cliff face. And then we hiked Emerald Pools. Very nifty.

Rock Shop!
I absolutely adore rock shops and we don't have too many in Utah, so I always make sure to stop in Southern UT and peek around. I used to put on shows with my own collection when I was a kid and give miniature "lectures" on geology. I wish I remembered all of the names of the rocks! Maybe I should pick that hobby back up.

About my finger....On Saturday night I was just knackered. Trying to hike on Lortab is an experience I don't want to repeat. When we got back to the room I'm not quite sure what happened but I passed out on the wall next to the heater. When Eli found me he thought I was taking a cute little nap, but I honestly don't remember how I got there.
We went into Kanab for dinner and I went rapidly downhill, running to the bathroom to throw up and trying to survive everyone gobbling down runny Mexican food while I held my breath and focused on the tacky pictures and sculptures mounted to the walls.
When we got home, after a drive with the nieces/nephews arguing about whether or not werewolves and vampires are real ("I know vampires is real because I AM ONE! Booooooooo") I was preparing to melt into a hot bath and got in my ditty bag for shampoo.
My razor, which looks like this
had fallen out of its carrying case.
And this baby is lethal. It is old school, where you switch out the blades by hand, and boy is it sharp! I have cut myself many-a-time (Eli et al. is always scolding me to stop using it) but the smooth shave is just so worth it! And what is a slice in the knee compared to that?
Ok, I admit, it has gone too far. I am in an abusive relationship with my razor, and clearly in denial.

So, reach into the bag, a sharp wet pain, and I yank my hand out to find my left pointer finger is missing a piece.
There was so much blood and I started jabbering at Eli, unable to form words. I just waved my hand in his face going"aaaah huh uh oooh uh" (Translation: PART OF MY FINGER WAS CUT OFF! I AM GOING TO BLEED OUT! HELP HELP HEEEEEEEEELP).
He is used to seeing me injure myself in stupid ways, but this one really freaked him. Both of us. We were both jabbering and dancing around the blood drops.

There wasn't a hospital or anything nearby. We were in the middle of nowhere. Eli ran to the hotel room over to get a First Aid kit from his brother-in-law while I soaked a towel through with the blood (My apologies, again, to the maid). The finger tip is apparently so vascularized that it'll just keep on bleedin' out, and I was getting lightheaded. I had to raise it above my heart while Eli made a tourniquet.
He took apart the razor to get the skin out, to see how deep it was (we couldn't see the end of the cave through the blood. It made a clean cut, with no flap. It took almost 1/4 a centimeter of flesh out of me.We could literally see the inside of my finger and it ain't pretty. We taped/wrapped the shit out of it but it still looks like this:

I saw a doctor about it yesterday and basically I can't do a damn thing. They need the skin flap fresh to sew it back on and it would have had to be treated immediately, which just wasn't an option. I severed some nerve endings, so I'm going to have a dented, scarred finger that is numb in that spot. Bummer.
At least it is kinda shaped like a warped heart. Lovely.

This came as part of the long line of bad luck I've had this last week, which just will not quit! Did someone put a curse on me?! Last night I was opening a container of candy and sliced my other hand on it. WTF?
This morning the fridge slammed shut on my funny bone.
When I get a spare minute I'm going to the witch doctor/natural store to buy some sage and cleanse all of this bad luck/tainted aura crap away. If that does't work I'll end up as one of those quacks that carries crystals in their pockets and rabbits feet tied to their purses, because I am that desperate for this mean streak to end! I will even meditate and levitate and whatever people do to magnetize the kindness of the universe. Om....Om....Om.... Namaste.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Duck Hunt and Weekend Escapes

I love lists. I think that is something inherent in people that enjoy writing.
So here is a Friday Favorites list !

Jasmine tea

My trusty blue highlighter

Draw Something
My newest iPhone app that is like Pictionary. Playing with friends makes for a lot of laughs!

Getting out of Town.
Eli and I are jetting down to Zion tonight after we get off work! I can't wait to see those beautiful rocks.

Peppermint oil.
Helps my tummy behave, especially when I am on antibiotics.

The weather we've been having.
60 degrees and sunny! Is it really March?

5 Second Films.
My brother showed this to me last night, YouTube it. Ridiculous! Awesome!

Duck Hunt.
Damn straight.

Pinned Image

Next weekend Eli and I are getting a Budgie!!
I am thrilled to the core.
Navagio Beach, Greece. I am packing my bags right now. Just waiting on that American Express card to be handed to me:)

TGIF, motherfuckers.

Have a great weekend everybody.