FaceTime with Torie (who also happens to be Vicky)

Her: "How can you read Fifty Shades of Grey when you don't have a uterus?!"

Me: "That's a rude thing to say to someone without a uterus! Discrimination!"


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Her: "Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to combine the efficiency of your health care system and the freeness of mine [England's NHS]??"

Me: "Imagine that--practical and affordable healthcare systems in England AND America?! You need to lay off the cocaine ladybird."

Her: "If I had cocaine I probably wouldn't be in so much pain right now!"

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